2023 Review Candle • Soy Wax Wood Wick

Regular price $18.00

Our candles are a unique combination of artisan ingredients, luxe vessels and our funny, adorable paper labels. You don't have to choose between high quality candles and a funny label. We make candles with both because that's how we roll. Our 2023 review candle is the perfect Secret Santa gift or a bestie gift, thank you for a crappy year gift, gifts for yourself or someone you don't love yet but you aren't totally ruling it out. People who appreciate sarcasm and yummy smelling, hand poured soy wax candles with cozy crackly wood wicks love our candles. #IFeelSeen

As you probably remember, our 2022 rating was 1 star and our review was TOTAL CRAP. WOULD NOT RECOMMEND. Yes, that was the same as our 2021 candle. If 2022 wanted a new label, 2022 should have not been such a crushing disappointment. #LetItGo #ImTrying

Attention must be paid* so we thought long and hard about how we were going to rate and review 2023. Alright ..not that long and hard but a few focused minutes for sure. Okay I don't know how focused we were but definitely we spent a couple minutes thinking about it. Bet you wish were we applied brevity to our product descriptions but I digress. Besides, how else are you going to procrastinate now that Twitter has turned into a trash heap? *TeamSamantha

Anyway, our expectations were low going into 2023 and for a minute it looked promising. But no... by March jackasses and rat bastards had ruined mostly everything and while 2023 hasn't necessarily been the dumpster fire of the past couple years... we aren't exactly throwing glitter around with joyful abandon. We are somewhere between dumpster fire and glitter flinging. So with all that said, we have analyzed all the data we had (none) and definitely didn't just subjectively decide on our 2023 rating...drumroll please....

2023 is rated 1 star. STILL CRAP. WOULD NOT RECOMMEND.

Our candles are made in small batches in our cozy Pacific NW studio with 100% soy wax and crackling wooden wicks.  We use “clean” fragrance oils that are Phthalate, Toxin and Carcinogen free because we care about you and your environment. Our vessels are re-usable and recyclable. 

Carriers are occasionally experiencing delays and service impacts due to staffing issues, weather and other factors. Please allow for 2-3 additional days for order delivery as a general rule. If you need an item by a specific date, please choose expedited shipping during checkout or reach out to us to ensure we can meet your desired timeline. 

All Customers:

You will receive an email when your order ships. This email includes your tracking #, your purchase details and a link to a personalized tracking page where you can keep tabs on your package as it makes it's way to it's destination. We think it's pretty spiffy!

US Customers:

Our standard US-US shipping is USPS Ground Advantage Mail. We offer FREE shipping to all US addresses for orders $100+. Standard shipping orders typically arrive 3-5 days after they ship.

We also offer express shipping options at checkout. We ship from the west coast near Seattle, zip code 98008.

We do our very best to ensure your package gets to you in a timely manner. We don't control the shipping companies - although we'd love to muawahahahaha!!! We will do our part and ship on time. Please take advantage of our express shipping options when you have a tight timeline or reach out to us using chat or email to ensure we can meet your deadline. 

Customers Outside the US:

International Orders typically take 6-21 business days to arrive after your order ships unless you choose an expedited shipping service. In the event your order comes in after we know it can be reliably delivered by the holidays, we will reach out to you to discuss options. 

International Orders can be unexpectedly delayed by customs, holidays and weather issues.

In many countries you may be charged taxes related to imported goods, customs duties & fees and special handling fees by your postal carrier. Any fees incurred in your home country are the buyers responsibility. Marking your order as a gift does not affect customs duties, fees or taxes.

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